PASSAGES FOR PRACTICE

Some Revisions

In each sentence below, points of editing are color-coded according to the following table. A revision (not necessarily the only revision) for each sentence is then offered in italics.

Attached is our revised recruiting schedule. Please note that some changes have been made.

Attached is our revised recruiting schedule.

In order to avoid even more delay, it is necessary for the partners to decide in advance what their policy will be later.

To avoid more delay, the partners need to decide what their policy will be.

Thank you for your prompt acknowledgment of my May 17 letter to you. A check in the amount of $3,181.68, which is the difference between the old and new rate, is currently being processed.

Thank you for promptly acknowledging my May 17 letter. A check for $3,181.68, the difference between the old and new rates, is being processed.

These owner's comments are taken into consideration and they in fact use the document in the compilation of their own budgets.

These owner's comments are considered, and they use the document to compile their budgets.

The Project Proposals Group is responsible to report, on a weekly basis, the status of unapproved AFE's in process and to submit a monthly contribution to the SCC progress report.

The Project Proposals Group should report weekly the status of unapproved AFE's and contribute monthly to the SCC progress report.

We recognize the problems with the ASSC input and are in the process of developing an Action Plan to remedy this on a permanent basis.

We recognize the problems with the ASSC input and are developing an Action Plan to remedy this permanently.

Manufacturers should be informed via Central Procurement if there is a problem with faulty catches, pins, etc.

Manufacturers should be informed via Central Procurement of faulty catches, pins, etc.

The corporation has made increases in the area of condominium sales, but there is uncertainty among board members as to what the future of the market will be later on.

The corporation has increased condominium sales, but board members are uncertain about the future of the market.

Although there are many variables involved in marketing a successful product, we must concern ourselves with the question of whether or not the perceived image of our campaign will have an effect on the company's profits.

Although many variables are involved in marketing a product, we must ask whether the image of our campaign will affect profits.